Homeschool Kids don't get in Trouble

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Have you ever thought of this before? Homeschool kids don't get the opportunity to get in trouble like say a latch key kid might. I’m almost always around my kids or can at least hear them. Do I think all homeschool kids are angels all the time? Nah, my kids try for trouble sometimes for fun even. I think it’s their way of testing. :)

Really though... Homeschool kids aren't left alone. Mom's are (almost) always hovering around. I catch my kids trying to pull a fast one and immediately jump in to correct them. I watch my kiddos trying to trick their sibling and I correct them. Well guess what... I'm done doing this service or even dis-service for them.

I listen more carefully. I am letting my kids work through things on their own. They get in trouble, they have consequences. Instead of they are close to getting in trouble, I fix/correct and they move on having been “saved”. I think I should allow them to find out that if they trick their sibling that the nasty guilt feeling will usually follow (and it is). I’m stepping back and letting them fight through difficulties and disagreements together. (I will step in if when hitting occurs. Any tips on how to reduce physical attacks between siblings? HAHA I remember rough and tumble fights with my sibling sometimes. Grrrr…)  It’s a rough, and sometimes nail biting (by mom), time around here but my kids are learning conflict resolution on their own. Isn’t that a social skill? Mom won’t always be around to jump in and protect them from everything. I’m just glad that they have a “safe” environment here to learn what getting in trouble means.

Just recently I tried something that I wouldn’t normally try because I was wondering what would happen. (Am I doing psychology experiments on my kids? HAHAHA) I caught one of my kids in a lie, but I did not point that out to them. I let them lie (even though I knew the truth). I was worried a bit trying this but I didn’t just let it drop easily either. I brought the incident up in conversational ways a few times and guess what… The kid broke and admitted to the lie! We worked through the issue and now I am finding less desire to try and get away with lying around here. I actually see thought going into responses to me and efforts to disclose more truth than I need even. (Which I can do without that too sometimes… but hey! I’ll take what I can get. Hehe…) Would that be happening if I had corrected the lie before it happened? I dunno… but I am trying here. :)

How do you treat this in your household? Do you protect/stop your kids before they get in trouble?


Christine said...

Absolutely! My oldest is 15 and a couple of years ago I realized I wasn't giving him enough opportunity to work through some things on his own. If I look at what I was doing when I was 15... well, we don't talk about that... But I agree with you, completely. Although it's led to some pretty, er, intense moments around here, in the long run I think it's worth it.

Pepper said...

I've actually seen the outcome of this after the child was out of the home. I went to a private school the last two years of high school and had very close friends that were homeschooled and then went to private school for high school.

One went crazy once released on her own. She went to college with me and the 2nd semester didn't even attended a single class because she was too busy with the boys. She is pretty much housebound by social anxiety issues now.

I know this is an extreme case with homeschooling and sheltering, but I have seen this in smaller doses with friends also.

I think you are def making the right move. You need to also teach your children how to help themselves. How to handle interaction with others. How to handle the outside world when you are no longer there.

Anonymous said...

@PepperI know! This can be a big issue. I think we are taking it head on from all angles this year. All of our grade level kiddos are in extension classes for Spanish and Art this year. Plus my oldest has attended a sleep away camp on their own for a week this summer. They are dealing with everything VERY well.

Post a Comment

Anyone can leave a comment. Comments are fun!
If you do not have a google account, use the Name/URL for leaving a comment.
Thanks for stopping by!

PS - I do not use Captcha