In Memory of Grandma

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Last week was rough. On Tue my parents and I headed to the hospital to visit with my Grandma. She had had a stroke. We do not live near my extended family so this was a drive. This was also something I had not planned to do. I am so thankful my Husband sent me though! I would have missed seeing my Grandma for the last time.

She recognized us all right away. It was so sweet! I thought she would wave herself out of her bed to say hi to me. I got to chat with her about her tomatoes I have ordered for her. She can't eat seeds so I have been ordering her SEEDLESS tomatoes from Burpee for the last few years. We are both perplexed as to how they grow a seedless tomato, but she loved them. Not sure what to do with her plants now.... I feel like that with a lot of things. I plan to do something and than the nagging thought in the back of my mind is, "but Grandma..."

After chatting with my Grandma for a bit (and having several more family arrive) we decided to let her rest. She was taking a nap before we left to go get lunch. By the time we were getting back from lunch she was seizing and when we all got into her little room she passed away.

My Grandmother was a caring, wonderful, busy woman. She would not have been happy being strapped to a bed! She loved to be outside in her garden. She bowled. She baked like you would NOT believe. She studied her Bible even up to a few days before she died. (I took the liberty of peeking at her notes in her Bible!) Amazing woman. I remember very few moments when she wasn't happy. Her greatest joy was serving and helping others. I will miss her so much. At moments it doesn't seem real that she's gone. I don't live close to her so it doesn't hit me all the time. And than it does hit me. I really think I am still in a somewhat denial stage? I have not let it all out yet. Kind of afraid too. Plus I have been sick almost the entire time with an awful head cold! Lost my voice (again). Headaches. Coughing. Sneezing. Not pleasant under normal circumstances but really bad when you want to communicate deep feelings with family around you.

We are all hanging in here. The statements, it was for the best. She wouldn't want us to be sad. Etc Etc Etc... are all getting old. I am so thankful she is without pain and tears now. I will miss her more than words can describe. I regret not having taken more time to get to know her better. So very much...

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