Trouble in Paradise... Constantly...

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

I should be getting kiddos ready to go to the doctor's office, dishing out medications and much much more, but no... Instead I sit here in front of the computer stressing about sick kiddos, fevers and reading blogs.

Just last night I had a conversation with my hubbie that has me a bit worried. See he's going to be outta town for a bit this summer and with our current pregnancy and how things just keep hitting us he's worried. I am too. I'm always worried about what will happen while he's gone. Yet, I know that worrying about it all does very little to keep things from happening. It hurts to have him question my abilities of caring for everything while he's gone though. I know that I will get through it and it won't be an easy thing at all either. I hate the nagging feeling that I have to "pull it all together" so that everyone else has confidence in me where I lack it. Why should I want them to have confidence in me anyway? Why shouldn't I just break down in front of them all, totally throw them into a world of shock with me and let it all be known? That I am completely freaking out and not sure what to do? Can't I do that?

I dunno... we talked about it though and he assured me that he understands and he just feels bad that he won't be there to help as much as he'd like. He is sure that I will pull through it all with flying colors. We both have a stubborn streak in us that doesn't let us "give up" easy with any task in front of us. Hehe... I've never been pregnant when he had to go either so this is all new territory for us. I wonder if I regret getting pregnant at this time now? Is there ever a good time to get pregnant? HAHAHA Don't answer that...

At any rate, there's lots of uncomplete thoughts there isn't there? Sigh... I'm going to lean in hard on God these next few months and definately hope the second trimester releases me from some nausea and exhaustion. I'd love for the kiddos to not be sick all the time too right now. Poor things...


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